Dating.....Ancient Ritual or Modern-day Purpose?

So, a request was made for me to share some of my dating "experiences". I guess I figure someone should get something from my dates (besides what I typically get (a free meal, unwanted advances and/or follow up phone calls.) Oh, but where to begin? I mean "Catholic Mike" was almost a keeper, and "Scooter Cher" might have made it if he hadn't sung "We, want you, we want you, we want you as a new recruit" louder than anyone else- as the Village People opened at the Cher concert, he took me to on our first date. How about "Make out Matt"not a lot there aside from the make out really.....and my mom could end up reading this..so we'll just leave it at that! "Fort Boy", "Gorbachev" (named for interesting birthmark), "The Good Doctor", "Oh Captain, my Captain" (the pilot), "Order in the Court" (sorry part of my "don't ask don't tell policy") and then there was . . . . . .How long will this go on? I mean sweriously? With so many options and so many stories.....I thought I would start this first Monday in September with my "Top three boys I dated over my summer vacation" expose. ("Dated" will be defined for purposes here as; falling in something with someone for more than five minutes!) There are a couple of things you should know.....every guy I go out with gets a nick name, for example, just below you will see the name "California Guy" printed over the eyes (to prodect their annonymity)....this is their official "Amy given name". These names are subject to change without notice....for example....at one point in history "I am who I am" was actually referred to as "Construction Worker Guy", generously named by my dear mother, who had never (up until now) had a daughter go out with a guy who wore "work boots" to work and drives a truck. (And for the record...he's a general contractor.....and really cute. Problem is...."he is....who he is" and he aint never gonna change! So, apparently I've dated every eleigible bachelor (and then some) in the free world. Does anybody have any connections outside of the free world .....maybe even a mail order man? Rumor has it my dad would be willing to kick down few bucks. You know.... kind of a finders fee!